Bertie meets The Guild of Calvinist Christian Women.

It might be worth noting at this point that the Netherlands Guild of Calvinist Christian Women have stern views on Amsterdam’s red light areas. Very stern views.

It’s an organisation that believes: there should be no drinking of alcoholic beverages (well sometimes it’s okay but only when kneeling down in church); there should be no recreational drugs; women should be dressed only in tweed and should show no visible signs of enjoyment, ever; there should be no sex before marriage; and sex in marriage is only for the creation of children and should take place only after prolonged negotiation with the local pastor. If a lady Calvinist in her day-to-day travels were to see a six pointed star, it should be classified unquestioningly as a badge-of-the-devil and attacked accordingly.

It is a recorded fact that a goodly proportion of the Netherlands Guild of Calvinist Christian Women actually believe that sex is demeaning to women. Happily, they are outnumbered by a large number of Netherlands’ women who believe that sex is indeed demeaning to women… but only if it’s any good!

In fact, the campaigning sisterhood seemed convinced that underneath Amsterdam’s Old Town was the location of all nine of Dante’s Circles of Hell and each sex shop, brothel, coffee shop and massage parlour had an elevator down to any Circle of your choice. This, of course, came under the heading of Things That Jolly Well Had To Be Stopped!

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William

Agent Bertram. Bertram spends most of his time at The Ministry fulfilling his role as an intelligence analyst, looking after the interests of Her Majesty The Queen and finding ever more ingenious ways to ensure that The Duke of Edinburgh stays out of trouble... When the need arises Agent Bertram is seconded to The Netherlands Secret Service to help his chums fight dastardly crime in Amsterdam. This is where he has most of his thrilling adventures. View all posts by William

One thought on “Bertie meets The Guild of Calvinist Christian Women.”

Your lady Calvinist is a crack up! A good-natured poke in the eye. For authenticity, consider calling her the crossbreed she is: a Calvinist Pentecostal. (In real life, they don’t exist–they’re polar opposites–which makes her more of a riot.)

Also, if you make up a Twitter mystery with clues, I’ll gladly retweet them. Suggestion: number them somehow, so they can be retweeted and not get mixed up.

*looks around* Well then. Seems my work here is done. Give my love to Gertrude. See you on Twitter.