Autumn storm blows in, William Frederick

Autumn storm blows in

Early this morning at the crack of ten, I was in the kitchen manfully holding a mug of nearly hot coffee whilst looking out of the window at the majestic array of autumnal colours that bedeck the mature trees lining the banks of our local river.  In its turn, the river was tumbling joyously down the glen to pass by our isolated home at a distance of some thirty yards before it headed on down to the loch.  The leaves displayed every hue and shade of earthy red, turmeric yellow and brown selected from the brief autumnal colour spectrum.  The rich golden ochre of the silver birch gave way to the golden red foliage of our rowan trees.  The golden brown oaks blended into the golden bronze of the hazel, which in its turn vaulted purposefully into the deep golden brown of the alder before being brought to an abrupt halt as the author had run out of autumnal colours, even golden ones!

An image of autumnal trees by a Scottish loch

Autumnal trees by a secret loch in Scotland

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Three blind mice, with jolly good eyesight!

I hates meeces to pieces!

Further to my recent post regarding a foreign and completely unauthorised mouse found living the high life in our car, Beloved and I thought that the sorry story was now over, especially in view of my bit of advanced mouse whispering.

meeces to pieces

Picture of Mr Jinks

As a precaution, we put the humane traps back in the car on a ‘just in case’ basis, feeling sure that this was more of a belt and braces precaution than a concern, as I’m sure that you will understand.

Imagine our horror when on jumping into said car this afternoon we discovered THREE MICE in one of the humane traps!!!

Mouse whispering was once again employed. But today, it was at full volume!  I opened the trap and placed it into the long grass shouting, “Fu** O** you furry little bas****s!”

I think that it’s time for a new car…

Please donate vast sums of money to William Frederick, Author and thoroughly skint chap… or buy my books!  :O)

[For our American cousins who may not know the word skint, it means broke, having no money and being completely without funds].

The sweet taste of, “I was right!”

“I was right!” or rather Beloved was right and, as her partner and protector, I was right too!

Do you ever wish that you could put someone down like Woody Allen does when he suddenly produces the Canadian philosopher Marshall McLuhan in the film Annie Hall?  You remember… It’s the scene where Woody and Annie are standing in a movie queue waiting to take their seats in the cinema.

Hang on a mo’.  I’ll get the clip for you…

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The Back Seat Driver Mouse

You may have noticed a certain abundance of wildlife stories in my blog.  I retired to Argyll, self built a log home with Beloved and settled down to write.  It was then that the mice found a drainage hole that I had not blocked and made an invasion of said home.

Author’s note: Mouse holes are notoriously difficult to block as the nippy little buggers refuse to keep still.

Image of a mouse in a car

Have mouse, will travel…

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A Breakfast Avalanche

Yesterday started badly and quickly became much worse after a sausage, egg, baked-beans and toast breakfast avalanche.

Being a thoughtful and intelligent chap, I decided to save time and improve my productivity by taking my modest breakfast, a platter of: Cumberland sausages, eggs, black pudding, liver sausage, hash browns, potato waffles, bacon, fried bread, fried tomatoes and butter-fried mushrooms (strictly for health reasons) and toast, into the study so that I could eat at my desk and work on my precious iMac.

A breakfast avalanche.

Breakfast at the iMac.

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